IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree

#countries #rate #crime #people #police #streets
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Recent years have witnessed a rise in the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
crime
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 in some countries; some opine that hiring more police on the streets will alleviate the problem of
crime
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. In my opinion, I totally disagree with them since perpetrators are not educated and their problems are not identified. Both reasons
along with
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 my perspectives linked to the topic will be outlined in the following paragraphs. There are many reasons why having more police may not reduce the
rate
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 of
crime
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. The most important one is the unsupported education of almost all criminals. Without a doubt, they cannot find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs if they
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 not graduated. Without having money, they tend to act in inappropriate ways. A common example of
this
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 would be that most people who cannot reach
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 are more likely to steal money from others because they
had
Verb problem
do
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 not a chance to make it.
Consequently
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, there has been a marked growth in the
rate
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 of
crime
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.
Additionally
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, one significant argument is that the root cause is not solved by having more public officers.
For instance
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, some perpetrators like to kill someone because they have
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
personal issues
such
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 as addiction, taxation, and other bad experiences. There is a universal consensus that nations
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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from wealthy families often are not criminals because they are taken care of by well-educated parents.
Moreover
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,
polices
Correct subject-verb agreement
police
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 cannot solve their own problems, which
is
Verb problem
apply
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still
existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
.
To sum up
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, even though most people think that police are opted to reduce the
crime
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rate
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, I am of the opinion that it will not mitigate the problem of
this
Linking Words
rate
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. Were the
govermenterment
Correct your spelling
government
 to solve the root cause of the problem, it is more likely that their nations will be happier lives.
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task response
Ensure that your response directly addresses the prompt. Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a clear argument throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your ideas by organizing your essay with clear topic sentences and logical transitions between paragraphs.
task response
Good use of examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion.
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