IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that quality of life is less closely related to money than to the amount of free time they have. What is more important for good quality of life ? What other factors do you think are important?

#people #quality #life #money #amount #time #factors
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern world to lead a good and quality
life
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 will need several things
such
Linking Words
 as
money
Use synonyms
 ,
time
Use synonyms
 and so on. Some
people
Use synonyms
 feel that
money
Use synonyms
 is closely related to standard
life
Use synonyms
 whereas,others think that spare
time
Use synonyms
 is more valuable than
money
Use synonyms
 to live a good
life
Use synonyms
. I think leisure
time
Use synonyms
 is more important in
life
Use synonyms
 than
money
Use synonyms
 .
To begin
Linking Words
 with,if
people
Use synonyms
 have free
time
Use synonyms
 they can do many things in that period. Free
time
Use synonyms
 is very essential in
life
Use synonyms
 because it can make a person mind refreshed and relaxed.
In addition
Linking Words
,when
people
Use synonyms
 get leisure
time
Use synonyms
 they can spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their family members which makes their bonding stronger,
for example
Linking Words
,my friend Ruhi ,is a service holder. She gets two days off from her job and, she utilizes it by spending
time
Use synonyms
 with her family members. It makes their relationship better and more lovable.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the community gets leisure
time
Use synonyms
 they can travel to different places which increases their knowledge.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,in their spare
time
Use synonyms
 ,they can read books , watch movies, do gardening,shopping and so on.
Hence
Linking Words
, free
time
Use synonyms
 is more important in
life
Use synonyms
 to make it quality.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
money
Use synonyms
 is a must be needed to bring happiness in
life
Use synonyms
. Without ,
money
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 cannot purchase any favourite thing.
In addition
Linking Words
,if
people
Use synonyms
 have
time
Use synonyms
 but they do not have
money
Use synonyms
 ,how will they travel ,
hence
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 is important in
life
Use synonyms
. Though
money
Use synonyms
 cannot buy happiness ,it can help a person to fulfil his or her dream.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 can give a person high-quality education,treatment and so on, which
time
Use synonyms
 cannot give ,
for instance
Linking Words
,my neighbour is very rich ,they have three children all of them studied abroad. Everyone trusts that they will have a bright future. Over and above, if
people
Use synonyms
 have
money
Use synonyms
 they can help others, which gives them mental satisfaction. I think
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 should have knowledge,confidence, responsible mind and so on to lead a quality
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,every coin has two sides
such
Linking Words
 as both
money
Use synonyms
 and
time
Use synonyms
 . Both are essential in
life
Use synonyms
 , I think
time
Use synonyms
 is more important in
life
Use synonyms
 because if
people
Use synonyms
 have
money
Use synonyms
 but do not have
time
Use synonyms
 there is no way to utilise it.
Thus
Linking Words
,
time
Use synonyms
 is more important.
Submitted by Zannatul Irin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: