IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some deem that job pleasure is more important than job society. In contrast ,others think thay having a stable job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#deem #job #pleasure #society #contrast #thay
Today, in society some
people
 opine that having a relishing
job
 is very important to stay happy.
However
,
in contrast
 to that, some
people
 thoroughly believe that having a stable occupation is most vital, rather than having a relishing one. In
this
 essay, l would like to discuss both these views and give my opinions regard to them. Mainly,
people
 involve in jobs to earn money and make their
lives
 more comfortable.
However
, some
people
 like to carry their jobs with
job
 satisfaction. I believe that
job
 pleasure helps to get a better service from employees.
For example
, in modern society, some
people
 give up their
job
 because of their busyness.
Instead
 of that and they start their businesses. In
this
 case, they make strong income, as well as engaging in their own business is mind relaxing. At the same time, they can make their income, as well as archive their life goals.
However
,
in contrast
 to that, some
people
 tend to believe that having a stable
job
 is more worth, rather than worrying about
job
 satisfaction. These kinds of
people
, like to sacrifice their own
lives
 for their
job
. Sometimes, these kinds of occupations are societal needs,
such
 as doctors, nurses, therapists, and so on. They have to commit their happiness, time, and other personal relationships to their
job
. In there, they try to stabilize their
lives
 without bothering about self-satisfaction.
However
,
people
 who commit their
lives
 to community needs should be highly appreciated.
Finally
, according to my point of view engaging in a relishing
job
 helps to make a person happier, and they would give better outcome to the society.
Submitted by tharukaperera141 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: