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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #relationships #development
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These days, the interaction ways among
people
 have changed under the influence of
technology
. For many
people
 , these improvements have brought facilities in terms of time and speed,
while
 some individuals think it has a harmful effect on
human’
Change noun form
human
show examples
 relationships and well-being.
This
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of
technology
 and draw some conclusions. On the one hand,
technology
 has made it possible for anyone anywhere to communicate with their families and friends without any trouble. Long-distance communication,
for instance
, is an obvious effect of
this
 improvement.
Although
 it is not as tangible as a face-to-face meeting, many
people
 have no other choice.
For example
, my mother was really pleased to talk to my elder brother by video calling when he was abroad.
Additionally
, it has a saving potential in terms of money. Unfortunately, in Iran, a third-nation country, there are lots of
people
 under the poverty line, so they can not find a way better than using
technology
 to communicate as most of them cost a fortune.
On the other hand
,
this
 way of seeing each other has brought some negative influences on human health. First of all, it has made individuals lazy because it has reduced the need to physically visit.
This
also
 can lead to obesity and diabetes, which are very common among
people
 these days. In spite of the fact that
technology
 has made it easier to catch up with acquaintances, it has been argued that many
people
 think it has ruined and jeopardized their relationships. In conclusion,
technology
 has both positive and negative effects on
people
’s relations. Despite it having brought comfort and the possibility of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long-term communication, it has jeopardised
people
’s health and friendships. From my point of view, the merits of
technology
 outweigh its demerits.
Submitted by Shahdadi.m76 on

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task achievement
To enhance the task achievement score, consider providing more detailed and varied examples. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more linking words or phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help readers follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both the positive and negative aspects of technology on relationships, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for readers to understand the main points you are presenting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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