IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem. Others believe that effective measures can be taken to improvw this situation. Discuss both view and give our opinion.

#activities #effects #plant #species #people #measures #improvw #situation
Have you ever
think
Wrong verb form
thought
show examples
 about how you spend your free
time
 and
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 you spend your free
time
 with?
On the other hand
 ,is it better to spend more of your free
time
 with your
friends
 or with your family? In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 it is better to spend my free
time
 with my family members.
Firstly
,I should say without family, life will be empty indeed
thus
 we need to have more strong communication with our close relatives.
moreover
, friendship relationship is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 our
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
life
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
time
 too.
Secondly
,we have to think about different types of activities and
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 that we have arranged for our free
time
,I believe that you can find some of the activities out more joy and fun if you do them with your
friends
for example
 ;studying, shopping, attending graduation celebration, participating our friend`s wedding parties,
also
 there are many hobbies that you would
prefferto
Correct your spelling
prefer to
 find out them with your immediate family and close relatives
such
 as new year holidays, birthday parties,etc
Thirdly
,
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
 spending free
time
 with your family depends on how busy your family is ,clearly;if your family members are busy and have less free
time
 to share it with you,
hence
 you spend more free
time
 with your
friends
Finally
,
honestly
Add a comma
,honestly
show examples
 my family is my priority in my relationship attitude, to spend my free
time
 with them and of course my friend groups to change my mood and energize me a lot In conclusion ,I`d better spend appropriate
time
 with both groups family and
friends
 which is needed for any people who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 eager to have a healthy relationship
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: