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Writing Samples
Band 5

People are becoming famous with the help of TV programmes and the internet. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#people #help #tv #programmes #internet
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Nowadays people are becoming popular with the help of TV programmes and the internet. Many bloggers have become famous with the help of social networks as Instagram and TikTok. Of course, the usage of modern technologies can bring some benefits as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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drawbacks. I know one Kazakh musician who some years ago created
remix
Add an article
a remix
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 to a famous song “Roses” and just downloaded it to his own Insta account. But his remake had become popular, many people had listened to it, downloaded, resend so after some time that song had appeared on the
first
Linking Words
 lines of the top charts even the
world’s
Change the noun form
worlds
world
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. So
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
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as a result
Linking Words
 the previous year tat man had been awarded Grammy. He had been invited to the USA In fact he is a simple
person
Use synonyms
 like we are, but due to the
internet
Add a comma
,internet
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 he has become very popular all over the world. His name is Imanbek. But with the popularity come some negative facts as people’s envy. Jealousy,
hatress
Correct your spelling
hatred
. Some haters start to write bad, immoral comments under each photo posted
in
Change preposition
on
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 social networks. I think that
appealing
Correct article usage
an appealing
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person
Use synonyms
 should be very calm, tolerant, sometimes in different not paying attention to gossips. And
also
Linking Words
, to my mind if a
person
Use synonyms
 is popular the private life is becoming out of the question. All movements are photoed and
then
Linking Words
 posted by
paparazzi
Correct article usage
the paparazzi
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. A
person
Use synonyms
 should always be in a good shape, well dressed, if she is a female, wear constantly
make up
Join the words
makeup
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 if not so the
next
Linking Words
 day that celebrity can be mocked by some journalists. So
in conclusion
Add the comma(s)
, in conclusion,
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 I’d like to say that thanks to modern technologies people can become popular and famous nowadays.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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