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Band 6.5

Some people believe that University students should specialise in a particular subject, while others believe that they should study a range of subjects discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #university #students #specialise #study #range #subjects
Many
People
 argue that ungraduated students should enrol in a specific subject at university,
whereas
 others believe that they should
study
 a range of
subjects
 without any force. I believe that everyone has the
right
 to be able to
study
 the course of their choice. On one hand, there are various reasons why some
people
 believe that universities should only offer
subjects
 that will be useful in the future. From
economic
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an economic
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 perspective, the authorities in the universities have a vision of what are occupations in the future and what the market needs from young
people
 and the workforce, so they offer only the majors that match the number of labourers needed in the future.
Also
, encouraging young
people
 to specialize
in particular
 sections can help the economic growth of the country by operating jobs with graduates who are qualified to fill
this kind
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these kinds
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 of jobs.
On the other hand
, a group of citizens believe that anyone has the total
right
 to choose from a range of
subjects
 in college.
Moreover
, they should not put the young
people
 under pressure and let them take what they like. The reason for
this
 opinion is that students will be more beneficial to their society if they
study
 or work in majors they like or they interested in .
In other words
, productivity and production will be more effective. From humanity's perspective , every person has the
right
 to choose his/her
carrier
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career
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. In conclusion, some
people
 argue that the university has the
right
 to enforce the student in narrow domains depending on the market,
while
 others argue that everyone should
study
 a range of
subjects
 they are interested in . I believe that every person has the
right
 to choose her/his major and
study
 what they like.
Submitted by enass  on

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task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument effectively and provided your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, you can further strengthen your task achievement by providing more specific examples and further developing your ideas.
coherence cohesion
While the essay's logical structure is good, transitions between some ideas could be smoother. Ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, you can make your essay stronger by summarizing the main points more succinctly in the conclusion.
task achievement
Consider proofreading your essay for small grammar and spelling mistakes. This will help in presenting your ideas more clearly and professionally.
task achievement
You effectively presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach and critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, and you have a strong understanding of the topic.
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