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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweight the benefits of mobile phone?

#phones #forms #outweight #phone
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Smartphones
Use synonyms
 have become an essential part of our
life
Replace the word
lives
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 in modern times.
However
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, utilizing these gadgets may lead to issues in social, medical and technical fields. In spite of these drawbacks, I would argue that the benefits outweigh them and it will be discussed in detail in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, providing a lot of entertainment content, mobile phones create troubles in social relations.
For example
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, adolescents prefer to spend time playing mobile games rather than socializing.
Furthermore
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, blue rays are produced by screens injure human vision. According to statistics, the number of vision illnesses
have
Change the verb form
has
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 doubled during the
last
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 20 years in Japan.
Finally
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, in the
last
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 two
decades
Add a comma
,decades
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 criminals created new ways to steal property with rising of technology. There are a lot of messages from media sources about
thievery
Correct article usage
the thievery
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 digital coins and
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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 data of celebrities. Despite aforesaid disadvantages, the advantages of mobiles cannot be ignored.
First
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 of all, phones make users able to connect almost every person wherever it lives what extremely save time and expenditures in comparison with
old
Add an article
the old
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 type of connections. Several years ago, the public was forced to pay for calls to other states while in current
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 calls via the internet may be free of charge.
Secondly
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, gadgets are playing a vital role in coping with lockdown consequences.
For instance
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, students who do not have computers were able to attend their courses via
smartphones
Use synonyms
.
This
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 opportunity allowed a bulk of students to continue their studies. In conclusion, despite considerable drawbacks benefits outweigh them, because
smartphones
Use synonyms
 are irreplaceable. Correct operation of
smartphones
Use synonyms
 able to offset cons.

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