IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweight the benefits of mobile phone?

#phones #forms #outweight #phone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays mobile
Use synonyms
phones
Change the noun form
phone
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a part of
dailylife
Correct your spelling
daily life
 .It becomes a
necessities
Fix the agreement mistake
necessity
show examples
 in form of communication in business and day to day activities.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 mobile phone in
social related
Add a hyphen
social-related
show examples
 activities has been used in exploiting young ones in pornography,mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are used to upload scandalous
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
videos
.Mobiles
phones
Use synonyms
 are user
freindly
Correct your spelling
friendly
 and can be used in any
forms
Fix the agreement mistake
form
show examples
 of fraud and hacking bank accounts by using different
simcards
Correct your spelling
sim cards
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 some of the medical studies
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of mobile phone had an adverse effect on a
persons
Change the noun form
person
show examples
 health,using low batteries
phones
Use synonyms
 emit higher exposure
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 radiation. Innovations in mobiles
phones
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been aggressive since
competation
Correct your spelling
competition
 is high in different brands of
phones
Use synonyms
.
Sufisticated
Correct your spelling
Sophisticated
 features on
certain
Add an article
the certain
show examples
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 of
phones
Use synonyms
 can be
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
 for the user. On
Correct your spelling
other
their
othere
Correct article usage
the othere
show examples
 way around mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 in
such
Linking Words
 a way that it has been used in blogging which gives ideas and important
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 conclude that are certain forms of problems that
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
ofba
Correct your spelling
of
of a
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 when
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not used and introduced properly.
Submitted by monsale1978 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: