IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#inventors #society #doctors
Nowadays, some
people
 say that
Inventors
 are not as important to
society
 as
doctors
. I agree that
doctors
 are important to
society
. But I disagree that
inventors
 are not as important to
society
 as
doctors
. On the one hand, I agree that
doctors
 are important to
society
. As we know, all countries in the world must have
doctors
 and hospitals. In fact,
people
 usually have health problems, especially children and elderly
people
. If there is no doctor to check and detect diseases, we cannot know what is wrong with our body because we can't see sickness.
For instance
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
currently
Add a comma
,currently
show examples
 there is the covid-19 disease. Sick
people
 cannot live without
doctors
. Sick
people
 have to go to the hospital, the
doctors
 will treat and care for them. If there is no doctor they may die because it is a dangerous disease, they cannot cure themselves.
On the other hand
, I disagree that
inventors
 are not as important to
society
 as
doctors
.
Inventors
 have created many devices for
society
.
Firstly
, they make
people
’s lives more convenient.
For example
, Thomas Edison is an American inventor. He created the electric light bulb.
This
 invention gave light to everyone in their house at night. In another instance,
inventors
 create means of transportation
such
 as bicycles, motorcycles, cars and aeroplanes. They make it convenient for us to move
instead
 of walking.
Secondly
, they solve problems in
society
.
For example
,
inventors
 have created vaccines to prevent covid-19 diseases
such
 as Pfizer, AstraZeneca. When there is a vaccine that reduces the number of patients. In conclusion, in my ,opinion
inventors
 and
doctors
 are important to
society
. They have different roles in
society
.
Submitted by meomy171 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: