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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Modern medical science has made it possible to combat many diseases. This is one reason that people are living longer lives now than in the past. Discuss the effects this might have on society. Support your answer with reasons and examples from your own experience.

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In our fast-paced society, advancements in technology have made it easy to fight against grave illnesses. Some societies have a notion that it can result in increased quality of life and people live longer compared to the past. In the forthcoming paragraphs,
this
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 essay will delve into the salient impacts that modern science has on individuals and societies as a whole. First and foremost, it is evident that we live in a digital and modernized world.
Thus
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, all the things that surround us develop constantly and these improvements have wide-ranging effects on healthcare, like in all fields.
Initially
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, robots can participate in delicate surgeries, reducing the risk of human error and increasing patient outcomes.
Furthermore
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, today, more and more laboratories have a plethora of experiments to generate and improve the quality of medicines. There is no doubt that the consequences of modern medical science are manifold and invaluable.
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, the enhancements in healthcare can directly affect people, providing them with fast and painless services. Perhaps an eminent example of
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 would be the surgeries when the doctors use lasers and they make operations less painful, diminishing the time required to heal.
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, the potential positive results from the medicine trials may pave the way for accelerating the healing process. In conclusion, after having meticulously discussed
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 phenomenon, it is important to emphasize that the good repercussions of modern science on medical care are far-reaching and cannot be ignored. Scientists should continue their practices on medicines and technology to stave off diseases, mitigating the dire ramifications of traditional medicine
while
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 protecting the posterity from possible threats.

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coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs.
language
Incorporate a more diverse range of sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.
language
Include a slightly broader range of vocabulary to more precisely express complex ideas.
task achievement
To fully address the task, consider discussing the potential negative impacts on society as well, providing a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure that guides the reader through your discussion effectively.
task achievement
Your essay is well-focused on the topic, and you have successfully linked each idea to the main topic, demonstrating good task achievement.
task achievement
Examples given from advancements in medical science, such as the use of robots in surgeries and the development of medicines, effectively support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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