In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?

Today, in the modern era, the number of young people who prefer to spend time indoors rather than going outside for any activities is increasing dramatically. I am firmly convinced, that
this
is a huge issue for our society, and there
is
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are
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a number of reasons for
this
. In
this
essay, I am planning to spotlight the main causes and try to find a few measures to solve the problem.
First,
I would like to discuss the modernization of technologies which, in my way of thinking, is the most crucial reason. Mentioning
this
, I keep in my mind the numerous devices and software applications which give plenty of opportunities to young people
,
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and become the unique platform where they can feel their significance and importance.
In addition
, extensive networking tools allow teens to stay connected remotely, eliminating the need for them to go out for face-to-face interactions. Obviously, all mentioned above cause a lack of personal communication
,
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and make youngsters not sociable with all consequences
such
as gadget addiction. They prefer the virtual world to real life. Needless to say, we need to do something to help our children to get rid of
this
addiction. To achieve
this
, each family should foster its own habits and traditions. It is the parent's responsibility to teach kids to play different real games with their friends, think about numerous points of view, and maintain discussions.
For example
, friends gather and watch films with
further
discussion of their plots.
However
, the ideal measure would be to read books, but unfortunately, the era of reading seems to have passed. Doing sports together is another way to stay connected with peers. In conclusion, staying in the confines of home walls is becoming an essential issue for children and teenagers
due to
the impossibility of social interactions in
the
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apply
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further
life and
virtualization
Correct article usage
the virtualization
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of the real world. To cope with
this
, parents need to make great efforts to help children develop the ability to talk, debate, and maintain friendships in old age.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt fully. While the essay discusses causes, more specific and varied examples could enhance the relevance and depth of your solutions. Including a wider range of solutions and demonstrating how they directly address the problem could also boost this score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhancing coherence and cohesion can be achieved by varying your sentence structures and linking words more. While your essay is structured well, using a broader range of cohesive devices and transition phrases can make the flow of ideas smoother. Also, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea will strengthen your logical structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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