In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?

#parts #world #children #teenagers #time #indoors #measures

Today, in the modern era, the number of young people who prefer to spend time indoors rather than going outside for any activities is increasing dramatically. I am firmly convinced, that

this

is a huge issue for our society, and there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a number of reasons for

this

. In

this

essay, I am planning to spotlight the main causes and try to find a few measures to solve the problem.

First,

I would like to discuss the modernization of technologies which, in my way of thinking, is the most crucial reason. Mentioning

this

, I keep in my mind the numerous devices and software applications which give plenty of opportunities to young people

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apply

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and become the unique platform where they can feel their significance and importance.

In addition

, extensive networking tools allow teens to stay connected remotely, eliminating the need for them to go out for face-to-face interactions. Obviously, all mentioned above cause a lack of personal communication

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apply

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and make youngsters not sociable with all consequences

such

as gadget addiction. They prefer the virtual world to real life. Needless to say, we need to do something to help our children to get rid of

this

addiction. To achieve

this

, each family should foster its own habits and traditions. It is the parent's responsibility to teach kids to play different real games with their friends, think about numerous points of view, and maintain discussions.

For example

, friends gather and watch films with

further

discussion of their plots.

However

, the ideal measure would be to read books, but unfortunately, the era of reading seems to have passed. Doing sports together is another way to stay connected with peers. In conclusion, staying in the confines of home walls is becoming an essential issue for children and teenagers

due to

the impossibility of social interactions in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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further

life and

virtualization

Correct article usage

the virtualization

show examples

of the real world. To cope with

this

, parents need to make great efforts to help children develop the ability to talk, debate, and maintain friendships in old age.

Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on Wed Feb 14 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your task achievement score, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt fully. While the essay discusses causes, more specific and varied examples could enhance the relevance and depth of your solutions. Including a wider range of solutions and demonstrating how they directly address the problem could also boost this score.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhancing coherence and cohesion can be achieved by varying your sentence structures and linking words more. While your essay is structured well, using a broader range of cohesive devices and transition phrases can make the flow of ideas smoother. Also, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea will strengthen your logical structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

335 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?

Fully explain your ideas

“Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

What is your preference when looking for a new device: friend's recommendations or magazines, newspapers or articles? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?