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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
People
 have conflicting views about who is most successful.
While
 a number of
people
 think that the most successful individuals are those who earn a lot of
money
, I am of the opinion that those who contribute to
society
 like scientists and teachers are a bit greater. There are several compelling reasons why
people
 believe that making a host of
money
 is most fruitful.
Firstly
, some
people
 may assert that
money
 is the measure of success.
In other words
, the individual is more talented, he is more likely to get a range of achievements and higher income.
Furthermore
, those who have high earnings could
also
 contribute to the
economy
 and
society
.
For example
, a good businessman would run his/her company and develop well which results in contributing to GDP, paying more
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the government and creating numerous job opportunities.
However
,
this
 is the case
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those who are in business, others mainly contribute personal tax to the
economy
. In spite of these arguments, I hold my belief that the individuals who contribute to
society
 succeed more. In my opinion, they could
also
 have the aforementioned benefits. Typically, some scientists or teachers would have high earnings
as well as
 be a director of a company which benefits the
economy
 and
society
. Another key reason which makes these citizens outweigh
people
 who make a lot of
money
 is that they could have a variety of advantageous influences on a range of social and economic aspects.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teachers play an important role in teaching the next generations the way
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to live properly and the knowledge which fundamentally
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to develop their careers.
In addition
, scientists create inventions that would stimulate the
economy
 and living standards. In conclusion,
while
 many
people
 think that the individuals who make a lot of
money
 are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 successful, I am still of the opinion that those who contribute to
society
 are greater.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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task response
Ensure that you address all parts of the essay prompt and provide a balanced view on both perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear logical structure throughout the essay to improve coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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