IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter -remind your employer what the course was about -explain why the course was useful to you in your work -suggest why the course may not be suitable for some of your other colleagues

#course #work #employer #feedback #-remind #-explain #-suggest #colleagues
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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to provide my feedback on the two-week training course which our company organized at Head Office, Brisbane.
Firstly
, since I received your letter regarding submitting my comment on
this
 course,
this
 was basically a trade market-oriented one and it covered Forex Trading
along with
 the applications of the Stockedge app. I found it rather beneficial because it offered
a
Correct article usage
apply
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meticulous insight into the usage of various indicators like Bullean and Versa.
In addition
, I was oblivious to the process and importance of the stop loss factor which I can use as a safeguard for customers' money at the time of high market fluctuation.
However
, I would like to suggest that these lectures may not be suitable for my fellow employees who work in the loan and recovery branch. The reason behind
this
 is that they do not deal with the trading sector and they may not be familiar with the complex forex terms and rules.
Hence
, they should not be a part of it. I thank you for permitting me to be a part of
such
 an incredible training program. Yours faithfully, Jacob Brown
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try maintaining a clear and logical flow in the letter. Each paragraph could be better focused on a single point to make the transition between ideas smoother.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the task response covers all required points comprehensively. You might want to elaborate more on specific improvements or different aspects of the course.
Coherence and Cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are well-structured and appropriately formal, matching the context of writing to an employer.
Task Achievement
The writing tone is suitable for addressing an employer with a formal and respectful expression.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • “I am writing to provide feedback on…”
  • “The training course titled ‘(Course Name)’…”
  • “The main objectives of the course included…”
  • “One of the significant techniques/methodologies covered was…”
  • “This course has been particularly useful for me because…”
  • “I have already started implementing…”
  • “As a result of the training, I have noticed improvements in…”
  • “However, I believe this course may not be suitable for all colleagues because…”
  • “Some roles do not require…”
  • “The course assumes a level of expertise in…”
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