IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #population #mixture #nationalities
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Because of transportation innovations, an increasing number of
people
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 emigrate to other countries.
However
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, whether an increasing diversity of cultures improve might nations development or
this
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 trend might cause social problems is up to debate. In the following essay, I will explain why I believe that
although
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 some social problems can attribute to immigration with different cultural backgrounds, increasing cultural diversity does help the country develop a lot. It is often argued that the increase in immigration might cause tension between the local
people
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 and new coming residents.
This
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 is because
people
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 who have different cultural backgrounds,
such
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 as different religions and traditions, might have some behaviours which are unacceptable to local
people
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.
For example
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, there was news about Chinese students asking the British University to adjust the winter vacation;
hence
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 they could celebrate the lunar new year.
However
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, benefits brought by
people
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 who immigrated from other countries should
also
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 be considered.
Firstly
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,
people
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 who grow in a multicultural environment are more likely to adapt to the changes. Since
people
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 with different cultural backgrounds have many different traditions,
people
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 living in multicultural societies used to be familiar with a diversity of cultures, enhancing their ability to accept new ideas. Having an open mind to new trends is necessary for a quickly developed country.
Secondly
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, an open immigration policy brings new techniques and talents from other countries.
For instance
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, Indians are well known for their good calculation ability and programming skills, Chinese are good at business fields, and Africans have great physical conditions. By accepting
people
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 from different nations, a country can get more talented
people
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.
Moreover
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, they can help to develop these skills in local communities. In conclusion, the tension between different races might cause conflicts and social problems;
nevertheless
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, advantages,
such
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 as the broader horizons and skills brought by foreigners should
also
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 be considered.
Submitted by Sofia  on

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