IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities and cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#country #population #mixture #nationalities #cultures
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Due to globalization, many countries have
people
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 from different areas. Some individuals believe that
this
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 is good for the fast
growth
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 of a country while others are completely against it. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I completely agree with the option that a nation develops more quickly
having
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by having
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 a mixture of
people
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 from different origins. The
first
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 reason for the undevelopment of a region with a mixture of cultures is understanding especially for developing countries.
People
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 from
religion
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religions
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 would prefer to follow their cultural rules over the
other
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others
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 and
this
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 will result in the delay of a decision.
For example
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, In
India
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,India
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 there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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land vacant for building a religious place. But due to multiple cultures, some societies are voting to
built
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build
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 a temple while others are in favour of a gurudwara.
Therefore
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, these kinds of issues
is
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are
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 creating a gap in the development of a nation.
On the other hand
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, when a region has
people
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 from mixed areas, they keep on celebrating different festivals which makes their life joyful and interesting.
For example
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, Christmas is one of the most celebrated festivals by individuals irrespective of their religion. Another contributing factor is that
people
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 from different mindset helps in the fast
growth
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 of
a
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apply
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society by sharing their experience and viewpoint. In the US,
for instance
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, Indian CEO's are running the most powerful organizations like Adobe, Microsoft.
Therefore
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 a country develops more quickly when its residents are from different nations. In nutshell,
Although
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 there are some issues in the
growth
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 of a country with a mixed population, A nation's
growth
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 is much faster when it has individuals from multiple origins and
this
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 is interesting for the population as well which keeps them moving
Submitted by davinderkaur3190 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Melting pot
  • Multicultural
  • Integration
  • Harmony
  • Cultural mosaic
  • Economic prosperity
  • Cross-cultural
  • Cultural exchange
  • Innovative thinking
  • Globalized
  • Community support
  • Social cohesion
  • Cultural diversity
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Discrimination
  • Cultural landscape
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Tourism appeal
  • Educational experience
What to do next:
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