A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities and cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#country #population #mixture #nationalities #cultures

Due to globalization, many countries have

people

from different areas. Some individuals believe that

this

is good for the fast

growth

of a country while others are completely against it. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I completely agree with the option that a nation develops more quickly

having

Change preposition

by having

show examples

a mixture of

people

from different origins. The

first

reason for the undevelopment of a region with a mixture of cultures is understanding especially for developing countries.

People

from

religion

Fix the agreement mistake

religions

show examples

would prefer to follow their cultural rules over the

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

and

this

will result in the delay of a decision.

For example

, In

India

Add a comma

,India

show examples

there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

land vacant for building a religious place. But due to multiple cultures, some societies are voting to

built

Change the verb

build

show examples

a temple while others are in favour of a gurudwara.

Therefore

, these kinds of issues

Change the verb form

are

show examples

creating a gap in the development of a nation.

On the other hand

, when a region has

people

from mixed areas, they keep on celebrating different festivals which makes their life joyful and interesting.

For example

, Christmas is one of the most celebrated festivals by individuals irrespective of their religion. Another contributing factor is that

people

from different mindset helps in the fast

growth

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society by sharing their experience and viewpoint. In the US,

for instance

, Indian CEO's are running the most powerful organizations like Adobe, Microsoft.

Therefore

a country develops more quickly when its residents are from different nations. In nutshell,

Although

there are some issues in the

growth

of a country with a mixed population, A nation's

growth

is much faster when it has individuals from multiple origins and

this

is interesting for the population as well which keeps them moving

Submitted by davinderkaur3190 on Thu Dec 30 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Melting pot
Multicultural
Integration
Harmony
Cultural mosaic
Economic prosperity
Cross-cultural
Cultural exchange
Innovative thinking
Globalized
Community support
Social cohesion
Cultural diversity
Entrepreneurship
Discrimination
Cultural landscape
Cultural enrichment
Tourism appeal
Educational experience

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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities and cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think that this is beneficial for the children of these families while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the causes. Whay can be done to solve this problem

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.