IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Research shows that people now a days sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individual and society?

#research #people #reason #effects #society
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 give less preference to their sleep when compared to the
people
Use synonyms
 of
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 days.The
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 kind of problem is,the recent survey
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducted
show examples
 by
private
Correct article usage
a private
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organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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 gives
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 that most of
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 age persons
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
 scrolling the social media pages in the
night
Use synonyms
 hours.Now coming to the youth,in the
night
Use synonyms
 they
usuallygo
Correct your spelling
usually go
usually
 for
outtings
Correct your spelling
outings
 with their friends and spend the whole
night
Use synonyms
 by doing parties.Apart from
this
Linking Words
 we will have the positive side of
people
Use synonyms
 who are awake on the
night
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 is the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
major of the
people
Use synonyms
 who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in cities will do the
night
Use synonyms
 shift work in their offices.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 in the IT
field
Add a comma
,field
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have to do the day and
night
Use synonyms
 shifts.All these are reasons for
people
Use synonyms
 are spending
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
less
time
Use synonyms
 in sleep. Now,we will discuss the negative effects on
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and on society.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 having less sleep will have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 direct impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health.Because the one who
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 poor
time
Use synonyms
 for their sleep may suffer from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress,headaches and many more problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, mainly on the youngsters will
may
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
get effected that they won't be
active
Add an article
the active
show examples
 whole day and can't able to interest concentrate on studies and won't show much interest in their daily routine things.If individuals and youngsters will suffer from
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of problems
then
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 impact will have on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.Because today's youth is the tomorrows future for our country . To
concluded
Change the form of the verb
conclude
show examples
,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 not giving preference to their sleep and suffering from many
illness
Change to a plural noun
illnesses
show examples
.which had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 impact on
Add an article
the individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 as well as on society.
Submitted by asma_parveen86 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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