IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people . Why might this be the case? Do you thinke this is a positive or negative?

#countries #home #people #be #case
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Nowadays,
people
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 in some countries consider owning a
home
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 is more essential renting one.
This
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 essay will discuss the aspect of
people
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 who believe in
this
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 sentence and will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of it. On the one hand , some
people
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 who do not have a
home
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, every time think about the end of the month, how to save
money
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 and pay
money
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 for renting their
home
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.
In other words
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, they can not live as easy as
people
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 who are owners. For more expression, the
people
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 of Iran could not earn a lot of
money
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 , most of them are tenant, 90% of their
money
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 are spent on living expenses, (80% of that are for renting a dwelling and 10% of that are for food and clothes). The survey illustrates if they had their own
home
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 , they could have
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 better.
On the other hand
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, in current times, owner
people
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 are very fortunate. There are some reasons for
this
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 aspect.
First
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 and foremost the societies who have their own accommodation could think about vital issues
such
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 as their future.
For example
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, a friend of mine has a
home
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 that inherited from his father. He has a job with a steady salary and he could buy a car , marry and save
money
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 for his future. So in our society , owning a
home
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 plays an important role. To sum up, in my point of view, owning a resident in my country has a lot of advantages as the essay discussed those. So
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
Add the particle
to
show examples
be an owner to a tenant.
Submitted by blue_erfan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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