IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people it is good to share as much information as possible in sceintific research,business and academic world, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some people argue that
knowledge
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 in areas
such
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 as scientific
research
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, business, and academia should be shared freely,
while
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 others believe it should come at a cost.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before offering my opinion. Advocates of free
access
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 to
knowledge
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,
such
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 as international peer-reviewed journals and self-development
books
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, argue that it promotes the advancement of new discoveries.
For example
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, if academics from developing countries like Indonesia and India have
access
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 to up-to-date information from prestigious journals, they can produce higher-quality academic writing. By reading the best articles in their field, they can enrich their
research
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 and craft more insightful literature reviews.
Furthermore
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, free
access
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 to scientific
research
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 could lead to new discoveries by highlighting gaps in the global body of
knowledge
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.
However
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,
while
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 these benefits are clear, I believe many scholars may feel disappointed as they would not receive royalties or material rewards for their efforts.
On the other hand
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, charging for
access
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 to scientific
research
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 offers several advantages, particularly for the authors. Writers, like other skilled professionals, deserve to be compensated for their work. They invest significant time, dedication, and expertise into their
research
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 to produce high-quality
books
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 and articles.
For instance
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, Simon Sinek, a best-selling author from the USA, has published numerous works that are circulated globally. When people purchase his
books
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 or articles, it helps support his livelihood.
Therefore
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, I fully agree that paying for
access
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 to scientific journals or
books
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 is essential. In conclusion,
although
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 free
access
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 to important information could foster scientific discoveries, I believe it is not the best solution for the creators. Charging for
access
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 ensures that authors are fairly compensated for their contributions to
knowledge
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
While the essay covers both views well, you could include more specific examples or further elaborate on how the free sharing of information has led to notable advancements.
task achievement
Work on providing some data or statistics to make the arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures slightly to enhance readability and avoid repetition by exploring more complex sentences.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and effectively sets the stage for the arguments discussed.
supported main points
Each main point is well-supported with relevant examples.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly ties together the main arguments and presents a clear opinion.
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