Secondly，if individuals become owners of their jobs，there might

#secondly，if #individuals #owners #jobs，there

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Secondly

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，if individuals become owners of their jobs，there might be a risk.It is quite common to see that a number of entrepreneurs，independent traders and freelancers go bankrupt as their ventures were incapable of making a profit，which could not only have detrimental impacts on their lives but

also

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generate burdens for society。In conclusion，I understand why people are in favour of self-employment and believe that

this

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could result in several plausible demerits。

Submitted by dhanoagagan36 on Fri Dec 31 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

69 words

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Secondly，if individuals become owners of their jobs，there might

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing sof skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

The beat way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any examples.

Today, people are getting greedy and selfish. Some people argue that we should go back the old days and show respect for the family and community, so that we can make the world a better place to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Countries are becoming mor and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? It is true that the globalization has made the world a global village and the countries are lot more similar than ever before.