Secondly，if individuals become owners of their jobs，there might

#secondly，if #individuals #owners #jobs，there

Secondly

，if individuals become owners of their jobs，there might be a risk.It is quite common to see that a number of entrepreneurs，independent traders and freelancers go bankrupt as their ventures were incapable of making a profit，which could not only have detrimental impacts on their lives but

also

generate burdens for society。In conclusion，I understand why people are in favour of self-employment and believe that

this

could result in several plausible demerits。

Submitted by dhanoagagan36 on Fri Dec 31 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

69 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Secondly，if individuals become owners of their jobs，there might

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government universities.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decresing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Write an essay discussing two of these factors, Getting the right qualifications or having the right Contacts , lead to success in life in your notes. You should explain which factor is more important in achieving success, giving reasons to support your answer.

There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important invention is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?