IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss Both views and give your opinion.

#people #attention
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The pie chart
belows
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below
 illustrates the destination of Anthropology
graduates
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, in percentage, after they are graduated
from
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with
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bachelor
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a bachelor
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 degree.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the table
belows
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below
 displays the salaries of each job description in a percentage with a
variation
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variety
show examples
 of ranges after the
graduates
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 have 5
years's
Remove the s
years'
show examples
 working experience. Overall,
There
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there
show examples
 are five destinations of choices which are full-time
work
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, part-time
work
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, part-time
work
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 with graduated
stydy
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study
, graduated
stydy
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study
,
umemploted
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unemployed
, and
unknow
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unknown
show examples
. Most of the
graduates
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 did
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
work
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. The tables
catagorize
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categorize
 a type of employment
in
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into
show examples
 3
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group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 which are freelance, government sector, and private companies. There are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
5
rages
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fits of rage
show examples
 of salaries starting from $25,000 to more than $100000.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, more than half of the
graduates
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 got full-time
work
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 after they graduated. Part-time
work
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 and unemployed are the
second
Linking Words
 and
third
Linking Words
 popular choice, around 15% and 12%
respectievely
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respectively
.
Next
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 selected to do
further
Linking Words
 study are the same of
unknow
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unknown
show examples
group
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 (8% for each destination).
Last
Linking Words
, only 5% of people did both part-time
workd
Correct your spelling
work
 and postgrad study at the same time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after working for five
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 receive salaries
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than $7500. The
employees
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employee
show examples
 in private companies is a
group
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 that
seem
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seems
show examples
 to have the lowest income
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
Use synonyms
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
. only 55% of people can get over income over $7500 while
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 is
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 80%.
Submitted by ekkawin.v on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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