IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as unemployed and homeless people. do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #care
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Nowadays in our society, we have some problems and issues that are related to poverty and poor
people
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such
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 as unemployment and homelessness. Some
people
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 believe that the
government
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 should take care and provide some facilities for disadvantaged
people
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, for ,example unemployed and homeless
people
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. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my thoughts in detail.
To begin
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 with, I disagree with
this
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 theory that just our
government
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 have to provide some facilities for disadvantaged or drawbacks
people
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 who are living in our city or in our country. Whereas, some others have an opposite view from my view.
Therefore
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, our
government
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 might provide some facilities for unemployed
people
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 to register themselves to create new jobs for them.
Moreover
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, some charities might be recieve
people
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's money to build new homes and heat or hothouses for homeless
people
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.
In addition
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, in our society, all of our
people
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 can be effective for removing some problems and issues,
for instance
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, poverty and some issues are related to disadvantaged
people
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.
Furthermore
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, if the
government
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 register some charities for helping
people
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 with the participate majority of
people
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 to create new jobs for unemployed
people
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 and construct new buildings for homeless
people
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.
Finally
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, some of the difficulties will be solved in the future. To conclude
this
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 essay, in developed and developing countries
such
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 as the United States of America and European countries, governments take care of a minority of
people
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 who are unemployed or homeless, but
that is
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 difficult for them to solve all of the problems without
people
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's help and wealthy persons.
Submitted by shayan.rahimi92 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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