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Band 7

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults
Nowadays in our society, we are facing new problems and social issues
such
 as
crimes
 and poverty. Some
people
 believe that the government should develop new regulations to decline
crimes
such
 as the treatment of young
people
 who commit
crimes
 in different ways. Some
people
 have comments about the treatment of young
people
. They express that young
people
 and youngsters who commit
crimes
 and break the regulations should be treated in the same way as
adults
 who commit
crimes
. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my thoughts in detail and extend my opinion about
this
 issue in our society.
To begin
 with, in my opinion, prevention is better than cure, so if the government make various policies and regulations against
crimes
 and criminals,
finally
 some
people
 who want to commit
crimes
 will be declined.
Therefore
,
first
 of all, strong rules will improve the level of social safety.
In addition
, I disagree with
this
 theory that young
people
 who commit
crimes
 should be treated in the same way as
adults
 who commit
crimes
, because they have a clean soul rather than
adults
, and they can change their future by improving their good abilities.
For example
, if a young boy commits a theft, he can change
this
 bad personality to a good personality.
Additionally
, in developed and developing countries
such
 as the United States of America and European countries, their governments have established special prisons for young
people
 apart from
adults
 who commit
crimes
. In the long run, they can manage young
people
's misbehaviours and treat them. In conclusion, it seems that young
people
 who commit
crimes
 should be treated in different ways as
adults
 who commit
crimes
, and the governments should provide new facilities to improve the bad habitats of young
people
 in the long term.
Submitted by shayan.rahimi92 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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