It is impossible for governments to help all the people in the world who need helps, so governments should focus only on helping people in their own countries.
 To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, it seems that the gap between the rich and poor is widening in both individuals and
countries
.
However
, it is unlikely for wealthy
governments
to assist all
people
living in poverty and
thus
some
people
think that they can concentrate only on helping their own citizens. I partly agree with
this
view. One main reason in favour of
this
opinion is that it is the obligation of the
governments
to help their individuals in suffering.
This
is because
governments
monthly impose taxes on almost every working adult.
Thus
, I believe they should offer education to children from poor families, supply health care to patients who can not afford medical fees and allocate part of funds to pensions to support the well-being of retired, elderly
people
. Only by
this
, will adults who are making money be willing to pay taxes to
governments
, which is the base of the normal function of a nation.
However
, we should recognise that there still exist some
people
,
in particular
those in underdeveloped
countries
, who can not access basic living conditions,
such
as a tidy flat, clean water and sufficient food, and their government does not have the resources and funds to assist them.
Thus
, I think it is the
governments
with the ability, especially those in developed nations, who should cooperatively help their counterparts to get away from trouble because we are the only humans on Earth.
For example
, they can
firstly
send some food and help them build the necessary infrastructure,
such
as roads and drainage systems, to satisfy their primary lives and improve their hygiene conditions.
Then
, they can send some exceptional doctors, leading agricultural professors and educationalists to help cultivate the professionals there, which will make a difference in the long-term development of those
countries
and help their
people
fundamentally.
Then
, there will be fewer
people
needing help and
this
is the meaning of human, from my perspective. In conclusion, I think
governments
should first help citizens in their
countries
, but if they have the ability, it is necessary for them to make a joint effort to assist other
people
in trouble.
Submitted by 1378468145 on

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear response to the prompt and addresses relevant aspects of it, there are moments where your arguments could be more effectively developed. For example, the explanation of how government aid can foster long-term development in other countries could use more specific examples and slightly more detailed discussion to add depth.
coherence cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure that your main points are consistently and clearly connected back to the overall argument. Occasionally, the link between your evidence and your central claim could be more explicitly stated to avoid any misinterpretation.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, making the essay feel complete and thoughtfully rounded off. This helps the reader understand your position and the reasoning behind it.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong. Each paragraph flows naturally to the next, which helps maintain the reader's understanding and interest.
task achievement
You have provided multiple specific and relevant examples to support your main ideas. These examples help ground your argument in reality and make it more persuasive.
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