Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

The level of
education
in which a person plays a critical role in gaining more advanced jobs.
Hence
,the
education
sector has a major influence on our
lives
. Some
people
believe that learning should be free for all
people
and for all kinds of teaching stages.
However
, I totally agree with
this
opinion. In the following, I will elaborate more on why I believe that. One of the most vital advantages of free teaching is allowing underprivileged
people
to gain more advanced jobs. Unfortunately,poor
people
cannot gain more advanced learning
levels
and
thus
they do not gain more job opportunities. In
this
case, the poor individuals could not improve their
lives
and as a
sequence
Add a comma
sequence,
show examples
the gap between rich
people
and poor ones would be increased.
On the other hand
, allowing poor
people
to have excellent teaching
levels
could enhance their
lives
dramatically and
then
enrich them with better life conditions.
Moreover
, the
overall
economic level of the country would be improved by diminishing the ratio of poor ones and boosting the ratio of improved ones.
Additionally
, high tuition fees put a financial strain on families, especially university tuition fees.
Consequently
,they struggle in their
lives
to collect a lot of money for
education
fees.
For example
, dual-income families are common nowadays and the reason behind
that is
to guarantee better teaching
levels
for their children.
As a result
, parents spend most of their time working and they do not find a good time to bond more with family members. Undoubtedly,
this
challenge affects the quality of their social
lives
.
In contrast
, removing
this
struggle by allowing all kinds of learning processes to be free would decrease parents's stress.
Furthermore
, they can spend money on other recreational activities and spend more time with each other.
Overall
, that would enhance the quality of their
lives
.
To conclude
, free learning comes with many advantages, enhancing the economic
lives
of poor
people
by finding more advanced jobs and removing the financial strain on parents to study their children.
Therefore
, I totally agree that all
education
levels
should be free for all.
Submitted by fmalquran112 on

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coherence cohesion
The organization of your ideas is fairly good, but the logical flow could be improved. Make sure you have clear transitions between ideas and that each paragraph has only one main idea. Additionally, ensure each body paragraph is clearly supporting your main point of argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a good introduction and conclusion that are relevant to the task's question. However, using a wider range of connectives and sentence transitions will improve the overall coherence. Be sure to write in a clear manner with natural sounding language.
task achievement
You've done a commendable job in providing relevant examples to support your points, however, be careful to fully develop each point with specific details to improve the clarity of your ideas. This will ensure your writing is more engaging and compelling.
task achievement
You did a good job in addressing the task's requirements fully and with considerable precision. Your position is clear throughout the response, which is a significant strength. However, it is suggested to use more complex structures and vocabulary to increase the essay's sophistication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible
  • economic backgrounds
  • primary school
  • tertiary education
  • free education
  • fundamental right
  • social mobility
  • economic mobility
  • reduce inequality
  • financial barriers
  • educational opportunities
  • government funding
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