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Band 4.5

Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

#teenagers #phone
Freedom is a birthright for every human
beings
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being
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 and so do youngsters.They
tends
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tend
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 to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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independent in Information Technology devices nowadays.Some people consider it as
an
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a
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 positive factor while others refute the notion.
Following
Correct article usage
The following
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 paragraphs illustrate both
point
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points
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 of
views
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view
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 in
details
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detail
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.
First
 of all,novice persons are exploring
plethora
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the plethora
a plethora
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 of opportunities for being
financial
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financially
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 stable in
early
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the early
an early
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stage
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stages
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 of their lives.
Moreover
,mobile phones are becoming
necessity
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a necessity
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 for
development
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the development
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 of their skills.There is no doubt it has some benefits for the current generation as they can find out new ways through internet-enabled devices by enhancing their knowledge.
In addition
 to that,as networking in the world gives enough opportunities to connect to their loved ones
in
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at
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the
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their
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 fingertips,they can be well informed and upgrade their understanding of society
also
. For an instance,in today's world,many college students do a different kinds of courses on the web as they are becoming self rely on gadgets.
However
,it does create negative impacts on their physical health and mindset. Immaturity is one of the biggest hurdles for them to understand good things and bad ones.Criminal activities are increasing as they are no one to
monitored
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monitor
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 them. Sexual contents are available free on websites so they are becoming addicted to
this
 which leads to many unfortunate incidences.
Such
 as,in India rape cases by
teenagers
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,teenagers
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 are increasing in uncontrollable
mannner
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manner
. To summarize,learning new concepts through computer gadgets are important but to go berserk after the usage of it can create chaos.They must be guided in the right direction even if they are becoming self-aware of being free
Submitted by om.om.mehta on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication
  • access to information
  • safety and security
  • entertainment
  • educational opportunities
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • distraction
  • lack of focus
  • privacy concerns
  • social disconnection
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • opinion
  • outweigh
  • limits
  • screen time
  • online safety
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