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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
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There is no doubt that rising up
children
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 puts huge responsibilities on
parents
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’ shoulders.
Children
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 conduct various mistakes while growing up. In
this
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 regard, some people reckon that
parents
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 should allow their offspring to make mistakes,
however
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, others believe that mothers and fathers should be conservative and protective. As far as I am concerned, there should be a balance between these two methods of growing up minors. From one point of view, due to increasing crime rates, it is essential that
parents
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 protect their loved ones from unpredictable events. One of the controversial issues, nowadays, is the virtual world that provides lots of information, which are not classified by age groups,
hence
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, getting access to some websites could have a negative impact on minors.
In addition
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, cyberbullying has become an inevitable part of social media. People write negative comments under pictures without considering the consequences so if
parents
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 do not control
children
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’s Instagram or Facebook for checking their friends, pictures or even comments, minors can highly affect which result in low self-esteem in the future. From another point of view, making fault is one of the best methods of learning. If youngsters do not have enough freedom to make mistakes, they never know how to manage their problems in their adulthood. Plus,
although
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 restrictions might protect
children
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 from being in a wrong way, overprotection can result in mental health problems.
For example
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,
parents
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 who have control over every step of their offspring in the school and never let them get a low mark or lose any competition
,
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apply
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 when students start their career is the society, they could suffer from a lack of confidence, and by a single breakdown, they will lose their hope and get depressed easily. To put it in a nutshell, with respect to the whole views mentioned above, I believe that neither over protection nor giving too much freedom can lead to upbringing healthy
children
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.
Therefore
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, If there is a compromise between these two methods, a much better result can be anticipated.
Submitted by dornasadeghi912 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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