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Band 6.5

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (Cambridge Test IELTS 13 Academic - TEST 1 - Writing Task 1)

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (Cambridge Test IELTS 13 Academic - TEST 1 - Writing Task 1)
#two #maps #show #road #access #city #information #features #comparisons #cambridge #test #ielts
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The maps show us how the surrounding region and roads of urban hospitals changed between 2007 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see two main improvements, one of them, the main and surrounding roads remained unchanged,
however
Linking Words
, the intersection of them improved rapidly.
Next
Linking Words
,
car
Use synonyms
 parking increased significantly for size and type. For crossroad: the city
road
Use synonyms
 and medical facility's
road
Use synonyms
 had the intersection in 2007. But it’s transformed by a roundabout.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the crossroad of hospitals
road
Use synonyms
 and ring
road
Use synonyms
 too. The
car
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 parking: before, the
car
Use synonyms
 parking of staff, public and some bus were together south from hospital and east side of hospital
road
Use synonyms
. In 2010, the old
car
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 parking became only staff and a new bus terminal is builded on the opposite side of hospital
road
Use synonyms
. For customers'
car
Use synonyms
 parking, it’s constructed with enough spaces
next
Linking Words
 to the urban hospital, on the adjacent side of the enclosing hospital
road
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by u.aduuch on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words car, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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