Some people think that the govenment is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while other think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #govenment #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents

Children

's nowadays gaining weight more than in the past. Some people think

children

health

is the

government

’s responsibility because they should build parks and spaces to play and waste time, whereas I agree with people who believe that it is

parents

responsibility

thus

they spend most of their time with their family. In

this

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

show examples

I will discuss both points of view. On one hand, the

government

should invest money into establishing wide areas for teenagers to practice physical activities,

thus

there are not enough spaces to play in their houses. If the

government

create some competitions in

sports

such

football, basketball or any kind of

sports

, for all ages, that’s will encourage young people to pay attention to their

health

and not to be oversized to be able to win and get the prize.

On the other hand

, if

parents

provide their

children

with huge amounts of sweets and chocolate that’s will affect awfully their

health

and become heavy and oversize.

Besides

that, If the

government

structure many places to waste time but the

parents

didn’t take their

children

there, so there are no benefits from these

sports

fields.

Parents

have to help their

children

to get rid of their addiction to video games since it has a negative impact on

health

. I have a cousin who is 7 years old, about 130 cm and unfortunately 50 Kg. In my ,opinion

this

is his parent's fault

thus

they offered him a lot of deserts and allowed him to drink Pepsi with the 3 meals of the day. He is becoming more havier by the days and unable to run for 3 minutes. To sum up, the

government

should offer places to do activities and

parents

should take their

children

this

sports

field. Video games and technology have the worst effect on

health

Submitted by talaqadan99 on Sun Jan 02 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the govenment is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while other think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Governments should focus more on preventing crime than on other issues such as healthcare and education. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

These days people are living in their 90s and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care of the elderly. Do you think it is the responsiblity of the family to take care of their elderly member or should the government be held responsible?

It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?