Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the
last
Linking Words
decade, social networking
platforms
Use synonyms
have gained immense popularity worldwide.
While
Linking Words
these developments have indeed brought numerous harmful effects to society, I believe that social
media
Use synonyms
is advantageous to both
individuals
Use synonyms
and communities
due to
Linking Words
the valuable resources and networking opportunities it provides, as outlined below. Concerning the negative impacts, social
media
Use synonyms
platforms
Use synonyms
often disseminate incorrect
information
Use synonyms
and promote consumerism.
First,
Linking Words
in the context of the stock market, many
individuals
Use synonyms
exploit these
platforms
Use synonyms
to disseminate misleading
information
Use synonyms
for personal gain.
For instance
Linking Words
, shareholders might suffer financial losses by following unverified advice from unqualified
individuals
Use synonyms
on the internet.
Second,
Linking Words
advertisements on social
media
Use synonyms
have amplified consumerism, particularly affecting younger generations.
For example
Linking Words
, teenage girls are easily influenced by social
media
Use synonyms
trends promoting the latest fashion, even when they have no genuine need for these items. Despite these drawbacks, social
media
Use synonyms
platforms
Use synonyms
offer significant benefits,
such
Linking Words
as access to a wealth of knowledge and the ability to network with professionals in the same field.
First,
Linking Words
the vast amount of valuable
information
Use synonyms
available online allows
individuals
Use synonyms
to learn and improve skills without attending traditional classes.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are numerous free resources on the internet for learning cooking, English, or even investment strategies.
Second,
Linking Words
platforms
Use synonyms
like LinkedIn facilitate networking with experts in various fields.
This
Linking Words
enables
individuals
Use synonyms
to build relationships with professionals, learn valuable lessons, and potentially secure job opportunities through introductions and recommendations. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
social
media
Use synonyms
platforms
Use synonyms
have their share of disadvantages, the positive benefits,
such
Linking Words
as access to extensive
information
Use synonyms
and networking opportunities, make them a valuable tool for
individuals
Use synonyms
and communities.
Due to
Linking Words
these merits, I believe that social
platforms
Use synonyms
will continue to develop and play a crucial role in our lives in the foreseeable future.
Submitted by okookk123456 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay does a great job outlining both the positives and negatives of social media, enhancing the depth of analysis in each paragraph can make your arguments more compelling. For example, adding more specific statistics or citing studies can strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, make sure each sentence flows smoothly into the next. Transitional phrases and cohesive devices can help improve this. For example, use phrases like 'moreover' or 'furthermore' to link ideas within paragraphs more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-written, clearly stating your stance and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view, addressing both the negative and positive aspects of social media. This comprehensive approach demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the impact of misinformation in the stock market and the influence of consumerism on teenagers, are relevant and well-explained.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: