Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

'Only work and no play makes jack dull' the saying goes well equally for
people
who
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
to enjoy playing and listening
music
Change preposition
to music
show examples
. That's why
people
believe that '
music
' encourages
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
togetherness among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
of various cultures and ages. In my opinion, I totally agree with the aforesaid notion.
This
essay will elaborate on the same in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
, every nation has an incredible heritage of
music
of its own style and the
people
, who are keen
music
lovers always try to find something new than their own culture.
In other words
, the interest in songs, musical instruments make
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
explore worldwide and in
this
journey
Add a comma
,journey
show examples
they meet like-minded
individuals
, that brings
people
together.
For instance
, in my
city
Add a comma
,city
show examples
'Nashik', India, a musical fest called 'Sula fest' is held every year which attracts citizens of all over the world. Resultantly it is the best
opprtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
for
people
to interact, find friends and build relationships among them.
Secondly
, as
music
is an inseparable aspect of rituals, celebrations and parties,
individuals
not only from different cultures but
also
of different ages come together.
In addition
to that, young and old
people
forget their conflicts and enjoy collectively that
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
their relationship grow. To exemplify,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
my cousin Karan's wedding party, my uncle forgave Karan's mistakes and danced with him
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
highly energetic 'Bhangra'
music
and the total happiness was spread in the air. In conclusion,
music
makes
people
find like-minded friends of different cultures as well as encourages all ages to live in harmony.
Music
is a true connector among
individuals
.
Submitted by drvaishalikhare on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: