IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree?

#companies #sports #facilities #communities
At
Change preposition
In
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this
 day and age,
sports
 and social activity are important in
people
's life.
Moreover
, it can be
argude
Correct your spelling
argued
 that
companies
supposed
Add a missing verb
are supposed
show examples
 to create
places
 for
people
 to do those things. In my perspective,
sports
 and social
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 are essential, and
companies
 should take
Add an article
a step
the step
show examples
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
 and create those
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 for the local
cmmunities
Correct your spelling
communities
.
To begin
 with,
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 more gyms
encoarage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 more
people
 to work out. Many
people
 don't do sport in their daily life because they don't find a suitable place for that. By providing
sports
 facilities, those
people
 will
strart
Correct your spelling
start
 to work out which in it turn leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better general health. To support
this
 claim,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research conducted by the University of Harvard shows that the percentage of health
diseasess
Correct your spelling
diseases
 declined
corsbondingly
Correct your spelling
correspondingly
 with the
increase
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
places
 during the
last
 few decades. Another
poinf
Correct your spelling
point
 to take into consideration is that providing social
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 will make the
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
 a better place.
In other words
, when the
companies
 create
places
sepchilize
Correct your spelling
specialize
 for communication,
people
 will find
place
Add an article
a place
show examples
 to meet new
people
, and the social
abillity
Correct your spelling
ability
 will
increase
 due to that, and
although
 there are
people
won't
Correct pronoun usage
who won't
show examples
 be open for those
palces
Correct your spelling
places
,
thery
Correct your spelling
they
 their acceptance will
increase
 by the time, and they may eventually go to those
places
 which means that the community
communation
Correct your spelling
communication
 ability will
increase
 as a whole.
Furthermore
, the company
also
 will take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
Add the particle
to form
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 those facilities . As the
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 go to those
places
,
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 will earn money for the
survice
Correct your spelling
service
 that they will
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
.
Moreover
, the more
places
 the
conpanies
Correct your spelling
companies
 will make, the more
people
 will take benefits and the more
companies
 will
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 as well. In conclusion, providing
sports
 and social
places
 ensure many advantages for both
companies
 and individuals. It improves the health level and the
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
 skills
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the locals.
Moreover
, it increases the income for the
companies
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 give those
survices
Correct your spelling
services
.
Submitted by munirah1056a2 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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