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Writing Samples /
Band 1

some people think that government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsible of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides give your opinion.

#people #government #crime #prevention
The authorities have
power
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the power
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 to make
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
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 that
include
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includes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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preventive action that can
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 with the rules.
The
Correct article usage
A
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safety
Replace the word
safe
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 environment would be the dream for every single citizen. As we know, during these days, so many cases that happened that
threteaned
Correct your spelling
threatened
 people. In 2020,
at
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in
show examples
 London, there was woman walked
in
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into
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 her
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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 and suddenly
kidnaped
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kidnapped
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 by a car and
founded
Wrong verb form
found
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 dead.
This
 is one of
Add an article
the case
a case
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case
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cases
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 that brought people to encourage the government to be more
concern
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concerned
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 about crime prevention. As
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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, we have the sense of
defense
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defence
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 act.
This
 sense will make some people able to do something
outrage
Correct pronoun usage
that outrage
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 their
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Protect
Wrong verb form
Protecting
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ourselve
Correct your spelling
yourself
ourselves
 from anything that would
threatening
Wrong verb form
threaten
show examples
is
Correct pronoun usage
us is
show examples
 just a basic nature as part of being human. And as for that,
for
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 my personal opinion that the policy will support and guarantee the environment is safety
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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