IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #television #free-time #people
Nowadays television is playing a vital role in our today's world.The Public is making their concentration towards
entertainment
 rather than interacting with family.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
 leads to the population becoming dumb and
Moreover
 , ensuring safety measures with the crowd. I strongly agree
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that people
get
Verb problem
are
show examples
 affected by television.
This
 essay will give the strong points why I agree with
this
 and provide a logical conclusion. First of all,
entertainment
 plays a major role in everyone's life
while
 few are not interested because of their mind psychology. I strongly believe that movies and web series can make the crowd to apply be happy and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 day
very
Rephrase
apply
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shorter when we are
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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bore
Replace the word
bored
show examples
.
For instance
 , in recent two
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 most of the population
are
Wrong verb form
has been
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work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
 and few people have lost their jobs
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in that
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 if they want to enhance their hours decrease
entertainment
 become the biggest part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 everyone's life.
Secondly
 ,the community has
also
 become lazy
due to
 over
addictive
Replace the word
addiction
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 television.
This
 way people are extending their hours
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
late at night and not maintaining a proper lifestyle.
For instance
 , apply am facing
this
 issue
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
these days,because of work from home because of
this
 I have undergone various health issues
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
but it is public to be protected
with
Change preposition
from
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 others.
To conclude
,I strongly believe that
its
Change the word
the
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 public
to be occupied
Wrong verb form
should occupy
show examples
 their time with
entertainment
 rather
thaN
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 interaction with society.
Submitted by kmokshagnanavi on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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