Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars

In some countries, the punishment for certain crimes is extremely severe. The convicted people might be penalized to be in jail for years. Some believe that they should be engaged in volunteering rather than just being kept locked up. I somewhat agree that getting them involved in

such

tasks can be beneficial to them and society.

Firstly

, it could assist them to overcome the horrifying memories of their past. In some places around the world,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jailed individuals are encouraged to join an outreach programme or work in libraries or teach poor children. Being engaged in

such

tasks assists them to keep their minds controlled and keep them away from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative thoughts.

Secondly

, they can learn the importance of compassion and realize how wonderful it feels to contribute

for

Change preposition

show examples

betterment

Add an article

the betterment

show examples

of mankind.

Moreover

, they can put

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

becoming

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

and can make progress to get back to

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

a normal life with that experience.

However

, it might

also

be risky to trust the detainees with

such

tasks. It is required to provide them with proper mental training.

For instance

, anger management and

counseling

Change the spelling

counselling

show examples

sessions should be conducted and it should be made sure that they are ready to face the world again.

Also

, it's extremely

criucial

Correct your spelling

crucial

critical

to run a background check on them and so that they can be approached based on their terrible past and the intensity of

criminal

Correct pronoun usage

their criminal

show examples

record.

In other words

, it's extremely necessary to ensure the safety of individuals around them so that they do not become a threat to the people. In conclusion, it's a

marvelous

Change the spelling

marvellous

show examples

thought to motivate

such

folks to get involved in social work as that could help them out to forget the feeling of captivity and be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

Submitted by shatakshi117 on Wed Jan 05 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?
It is considered that most of the children are attaining low marks due to excessive usage of social media.This essay will discuss the major cause of this problem as well as some possible solutions.
5.5
band
some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. what do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?
In the contemporary epoch, some individuals believe that it is more favourable for students to stay at home and merely play until the end of their childhood. In contrast, other people's opinions say they must go to school at an early age. Two of the benefits associated with this belief are as follows.
7
band
In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?
An enormous amount of the population wants to celebrate vacations in their home country rather than overseas. This essay will argue why local tourism is convenient. I endorse this idea, It is not only affordable but also provides ease of communication.
6.5
band
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
It is often ,discussed that numerous children are involved in unhealthy and inappropriate lifestyles nowadays that would be solved by parents and academy. I firmly believe that more experienced person can take the initiative to alter their difficulties and maintain a proper routine.
7.5
band
Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In recent years, there is still a significant increase in the number of criminals in many countries, even if their national economy is growing. Therefore, people hold different views about the factors contributing to crimes.

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?

some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. what do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.