IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: 1. Say how well you know your friend. 2. Describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has. 3. Explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

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Dear Sir or Madam, Hello, How are things job coming along? I am writing
this
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 letter because my friend wants to work as a
sports
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 trainer like you. First of all, I would like to write about my fellow. She is a champion in
table
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tennis
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sports
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. On top of that, she went to China for the Olympics and won a
gold
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 medal. She is good at
table
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tennis
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.
Secondly
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, she would like to work as a
sports
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 trainer at a summer school camp. She has a degree in every kind of sport.
Also
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, my mate has three
gold
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, five silver medals, and, so on. Added to
this
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, Her leisure time is often spent on
sports
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. Her passion began when her father took part in
table
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tennis
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 and won two
gold
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 medals.
Furthermore
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, she always shows an interest in
table
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tennis
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, basketball, badminton, and, so on. I suggest that my cobber would be suitable for
this
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 business because she has good quality, three
gold
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, five silver, and so on. If she were a
sports
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 trainer many young people would be champions in the world. I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully, Pariy.

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Greeting
Start your letter with a greeting that is more relevant to the context, such as 'Dear [Camp Manager's Name]' if known, or 'Dear Camp Manager' if the name is unknown. Avoid informal language such as 'Hello, How are things job coming along?' since it doesn't fit the formal context of a recommendation letter.
Structure
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea: introduce your friend and your relationship in the first paragraph, discuss qualifications and experience in the second, and explain why your friend is suitable for the job in the third.
Content
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt. While mentioning your friend's sports achievements is good, make sure to highlight her training or coaching experience, which is more relevant to a sports trainer position.
Cohesion
To make your letter more cohesive, use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. For example, 'In addition to her achievements, my friend has...' or 'This experience makes her uniquely qualified because...'.
Tone
Consider the tone and register of your letter. A recommendation letter is formal, so avoid colloquial language, excessive casual language ('my mate', 'cobber'), and ensure you close your letter appropriately ('I look forward to your positive response' might be more suitable).
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ardent enthusiast
  • physical education
  • sportsmanship
  • pragmatic approach
  • diligence
  • team spirit
  • engaging personality
  • mentorship
  • leadership qualities
  • communication skills
  • first-aid certified
  • discipline
  • adaptability
  • youth mentor
  • enthusiastic
  • influential coach
  • role model
  • positive reinforcement
  • camaraderie
  • empathy
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