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Band 5.5

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#exercise #children #teenagers #education #sport #students #schools #answers
It is rightly
said
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,said
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 "Health is wealth and when it is lost
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
 is lost". For better physical growth and development of
Correct your spelling
children
chidren
Add a comma
,chidren
show examples
 it should be
compulsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 for each and every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 to participate in sports in all schools. I believe from the above statement that it is the best way to make all the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 fit as a fiddle. I will shed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my views with some examples in the following paragraphs. There are several reasons why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that physical education ought to be mandatory
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all children in every school because exercise is the best way to boost their energy and makes them feel fresh for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 duration which
increase
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increases
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 their concentration and efficiency.
For example
, some psychologists state that a student is studying for 4-5 hours without any break could gradually decrease their concentration and may lead to saturation in thinking power.
Moreover
, sports helps to control weight which
maintain
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maintains
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 their body growth and increase their strength
also
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 their body disease-free.
In addition
 to
this
, some
adolescent
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adolescents
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 are good
in
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at
show examples
 games with the help of proper
guidences
Correct your spelling
guidance
 from
tutor
Correct article usage
a tutor
show examples
 they can learn more properly and explore
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 sports.
For instance
, an Indian cricketer
such
 as Virat
kohli
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Kohli
show examples
 is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average in their
academic
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academics
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 but he is good in cricket and now he is one of the famous
indian
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Indian
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personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
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 known
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their game. To conclude, all education departments include
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 period in their time-table which is
benifical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for student mental and physical growth which helps in focus and to increase their productivity.
Submitted by hasanrimple53486 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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