Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While

some

people

think that every wild animal should be conserved, others believe that only some of them should be protected. In my opinion, it is crucial to prevent all of them from extinction

otherwise

our ecosystem would be destroyed. On the one hand, protecting every

species

of wild animal is considered to be critical since all of them play a significant role in the ecosystem. In one specific area, there will always be an animal web,

therefore

, if one

species

disappeared or extinct, the animal web in that area would be severely affected.

For example

, deer would experience an overpopulation if tigers become extinct and

this

would

also

have a negative effect on other

species

On the other hand

, only certain

animals

have a chance to be protected by

people

this

view happens because they think that protecting all of them would be a waste of money. Spending that money on other issues,

such

as education or health care, is better. Some

people

may

also

think that the extinction of some

animals

would not have many impacts on humans or other

animals

, and there may be a positive effect on

people

For instance

, if sharks are all dead,

then

people

could swim freely in the ocean. In conclusion, it is thought that every

species

of wild

animals

ought to be conserved because they have an important duty in the global ecosystem, others oppose that it would be better to only protect some of them.

However

, from my point of view, I agree with

people

who think that all

animals

are crucial so we should conserve all of them.

Submitted by Bussara.bb2804 on Thu Jan 06 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the points that will be discussed in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Develop each main point in its own paragraph and link these ideas with transition words for better flow.

coherence cohesion

Include a wider range of cohesive devices and vary your sentence structures more.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views and giving your opinion throughout the essay.

task achievement

Expand upon your opinion with more detailed examples and explanations.

task achievement

Use a variety of sentence types and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. Some people say that government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, using the internet in schools is getting more popular. In this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?