New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time

Most

children

leisure time is shifting towards online or virtual meet from the physical presence. Even

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

these days are on the verge of completely

shift

Wrong verb form

shifting

show examples

due to the advancement in technology. Shifting towards these new technologies have brought very pros and cons which are discussed as below which in order are explained below. On one hand,

children

nowadays are pretty much fast forward.

For instance

, on one of the surveys conducted by the information technology department in Kathmandu, they found that

children

below 5 years of age were found talking about the video calling feature of Facebook and their experience with their elder brother. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have significantly gained the experience of social media and had made its full use. Due to the same reason their life better now.

On the other hand

, the emergence of addiction is one of the concerning issues.

For example

, many

children

these days are stuck to their mobile phones

instead

of performing their day to activities.

This

had led to the emergence of serious issues and choas everything. After looking at both sides of a coin, there seems the problem of addiction due to overuse.

Therefore

children

with new technologies will benefit more benefitted if they use them under timed circumstances.

Submitted by umeshrajpandey1994 on Thu Jan 06 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

208 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Digital literacy
Cyberbullying
Sedentary lifestyle
Inappropriate content
Self-learning
Screen time
Social inequality
Enhanced communication
Creative expression
Educational resources

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others say that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that family life and parents have great influences on children’s development. Do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Test date 1/12/2018 Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.