IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Universities should take the same number of man and women in each major. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement

#universities #man #women
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In some people's opinion , there should be the same quantity of men and women
students
Use synonyms
 in each major of every university.
in
Capitalize word
In
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 my perspective, it would be more beneficial for universities and
students
Use synonyms
 as well and I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Many individuals believe that it has advantages if there are the same number of girls and boys at universities.
For example
Linking Words
, many things
such
Linking Words
 as rules, subjects and other
students
Use synonyms
' items become equal among
students
Use synonyms
 and teachers can easily control their behaviour without using any punishments. ,
Also
Linking Words
 there would not be any bullying among male and female
students
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 as if the rates of one gender increase than another,there will be some arguments between
students
Use synonyms
. So
this
Linking Words
 statement can be a solution for
such
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 kinds of issues. On the other
side
Add a comma
side,
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 some other humans may argue about
this
Linking Words
 opinion , as they may prefer other kinds of studying
such
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 as learning separately
according to
Linking Words
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
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. By
such
Linking Words
 kind of studying everyone can get some profits but on the other ,hand it can be a disadvantage for their future life as they may lose communication skills with each other.
In addition
Linking Words
, some humans claim that the quantity of males and females is not important for university as the rates of their results of education
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the first priority. But it can create some problems as
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 mentioned above. In conclusion,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
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people vary from each other
by
Change preposition
in
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 their opinions. I think
this
Linking Words
 statement can bring some good effects for everyone and their universities at the same time.
Submitted by mallaboyevshoxbozbek77 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay has a clear response to the task, presenting your opinion and supporting it with relevant arguments. However, expanding on the opposing views and providing a more balanced discussion would strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a coherent structure and maintains a logical progression of ideas. However, pay attention to the introduction and conclusion, as they are not as strong and clear as they should be. Consider providing a more effective introduction and a more conclusive conclusion.
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