IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research,business and the academic world.Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world
In the field of science,medicine,education and in business whatever
development
 is occurring is necessary to envy everyone about the
development
.But we need to be very careful when it comes to
information
 about national security. In
this
 modern era,the
development
 in technology is increasing rapidly in every sector And
people
 should know about it
then
 only they will take
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 consideration
this
development
 and will be enabled to apply them in the real life.
For example
,the whole world is battling with contagious disease covid-19.In the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
bigening
Correct your spelling
beginning
 no has a clear idea about the virus how is spreading and what should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do protect ourself from these diseases.But after some time researchers have given a brief and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear description that how
disease
Add an article
the disease
show examples
 is spreading and how we can keep ourselves safe from
this
 virus.Later,everyone got to know everything about the covid and take precautions.
Similarly
,if we come to know about any
development
 and any
information
 from the different fields should be shared, it is very useful for every individual in the society Apart from
this
,in some ,departments it's not possible for them to share the
information
 with
people
such
 as in
central
Correct article usage
the central
show examples
 bureau of investigation,in
police
Add an article
the police
show examples
 department and in
defence
Correct article usage
the defence
show examples
.They will keep the
information
 secret.Because it is a matter of national security as well as
people
's life.For ,example the CBI
people
 will go on secret missions and will collect data and they put that data very safely and securely.So that no one should get harm from these.These are the reason that some
information
 is very prominent not to share. To conclude,it is very important to share technological
development
information
. But in some cases,the
information
 should be kept
secretly
Replace the word
secret
show examples
 for sake of
people
's and the country's safety purposes.
Submitted by asma_parveen86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: