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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
In
this
essay
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,essay
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 I would like to discuss two points of view.
One
 is that it is the
parents
’ responsibility to raise a
child
that is
 a good
member
 of
society
, the other
one
 is that it is the responsibility of the educational institutions. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is the
parents’
Correct your spelling
parent's
show examples
 duty to teach the
child
 how to be a decent human being so the can be a good person and
therefore
 a good
member
 of the
society
.
This
 means that the
parents
 have the function of a role model. So if the
Add a hyphen
grow-ups
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grow
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grown
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 ups are polite, honest, hardworking and everything else that the
society
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
 as good and teaches it to the
child
, it is a good foundation for the
child
 to
Change to the active voice
come
have come
show examples
be
Correct your spelling
become
show examples
come
Add the preposition
tocome
show examples
 a good
member
 of the
society
.
Then
 school could be
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
additional support,
for example
 when the
parents
 have another cultural background. The teachers or the educational system could help to understand and find its way in the new culture. Because sometimes when something
is considers
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
 polite in
one
 culture it could be rude in another
one
. But
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 only additional tools the main part has to be done by the
parents
 or the legal guardian, in my opinion. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 it is to say that, the main part is in the hand of the parent or the legal guardian, but I think that the educational system can help where the
parents
 are not capable or are limited to provide the
child
 with
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the tools or skills needed to be a good
member
 of the
society
Submitted by 44blackqueen on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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