Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

Several individuals believe that expanding a wide range of

sports

facilities is the best way to develop community

health

Nevertheless

, a number of residents tend to think that

this

may appear a few

outcome

Change to a plural noun

outcomes

show examples

on public

health

Therefore

, other methods are proposed

instead

This

essay will discuss both these views and

subsequently

, I will express my own view.

To begin

with, the best way to improve public

health

participating

Change preposition

by participating

show examples

in various

sports

amenities. I agree that

this

will help us increase our physical

health

. They can go to the fitness centre, swimming pools or

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

the facilities in local parks. Currently, the government has

also

installed

sports

equipment in order that citizens can improve their

health

and longevity. But in some

case

Fix the agreement mistake

cases

show examples

this

would have a few

effect

Change to a plural noun

effects

show examples

on public

health

. Absolutely, I'm more inclined towards

this

view. Let take some examples, people will not be able to afford both economically and time to go to the

sports

area.

For those

Change preposition

Those

show examples

who work in the offices, after a long day at work,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will not want to go out to participate in physical training activities. For those with difficult

finacial

Correct your spelling

financial

conditions, they will not be eligible to participate in training grounds.

Consequently

, several methods are recommended to overcome the above drawbacks.

First

, we can buy exercise equipment

such

as yoga mats, treadmills,... so we can train

ourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

at home without having to go out.

Second

, they can imitate the exercises on TV

such

as jump squat, plank,... for those who are not eligible to invest in

sports

equipment.

Last

but not least, we should have a suitable diet. In conclusion, training

sports

is extremely significant.

Citizens

Add the comma(s)

,Citizens

show examples

please spend a little time each day

to train

Change the verb form

training

show examples

and

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

your own

health

Submitted by hnphu79 on Fri Jan 07 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck.

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.