Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Several individuals believe that expanding a wide range of
sports
facilities is the best way to develop community
health
.
Nevertheless
, a number of residents tend to think that
this
may appear a few
outcome
Change to a plural noun
outcomes
show examples
on public
health
.
Therefore
, other methods are proposed
instead
.
This
essay will discuss both these views and
subsequently
, I will express my own view.
To begin
with, the best way to improve public
health
is
participating
Change preposition
by participating
show examples
in various
sports
amenities. I agree that
this
will help us increase our physical
health
. They can go to the fitness centre, swimming pools or
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
the facilities in local parks. Currently, the government has
also
installed
sports
equipment in order that citizens can improve their
health
and longevity. But in some
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
,
this
would have a few
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
show examples
on public
health
. Absolutely, I'm more inclined towards
this
view. Let take some examples, people will not be able to afford both economically and time to go to the
sports
area.
For those
Change preposition
Those
show examples
who work in the offices, after a long day at work,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will not want to go out to participate in physical training activities. For those with difficult
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
conditions, they will not be eligible to participate in training grounds.
Consequently
, several methods are recommended to overcome the above drawbacks.
First
, we can buy exercise equipment
such
as yoga mats, treadmills,... so we can train
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
at home without having to go out.
Second
, they can imitate the exercises on TV
such
as jump squat, plank,... for those who are not eligible to invest in
sports
equipment.
Last
but not least, we should have a suitable diet. In conclusion, training
sports
is extremely significant.
Citizens
Add the comma(s)
,Citizens
show examples
please spend a little time each day
to train
Change the verb form
training
show examples
and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
your own
health
.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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