IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The crime rate
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 youth is on the rise in various nations. The factors causing the crime are complex;
however
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be worked out. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss two main causes and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of solutions
also
Linking Words
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
show examples
 to be possible. Perhaps the main cause is issues associated with family, which plays a big role in the development of the youth.
For instance
Linking Words
, children, who are raised by grandparents or other caregivers,
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
challenge
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
 attention and
supervise
Wrong verb form
supervising
show examples
 these youngsters, end up in an
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 environment. The lack of attention or improper surroundings can lead to various types of psychological issues
such
Linking Words
 as depression, anxiety and excessive aggression in teenagers, which is a second factor of juvenile delinquency.
However
Linking Words
, there are practical solutions to prevent these conflicts. Primarily,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary schools
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
offer a wide variety of
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 like schoolchildren in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
voluntary activities in elderly nursing homes. If
such
Linking Words
 activities were more possible, it would promote
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
sense of solidarity and responsibility in minors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rehabilitation and re-socialization
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 for those who have committed crimes should be improved more beneficially.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can allow them
returning
Change the verb form
to return
show examples
 to society as full members or to prevent re-offending.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family issues and psychological problems appear to be
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 causes to push a child
Add the particle
to
show examples
commit a crime. A coordinated response by the educational institution and communal activity may well lower the illegal act.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: