The government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Thus it’s the governments’ responsibility to ban alcohol and tobacco as they are addictive substances and harmful.How do you feel about this approach? do you agree or disagree ?

In
this
day and age, the amount of addictive people from alcohol, tobacco or both is increasing.
However
, it is the government's responsibility to ensure the safety of the nation, some people say that addictive substances should be banned from society. I strongly agree that banning it is not the best way to solve the problems.
To begin
with, the natural habit of humans is curiosity;
hence
interdicting the addictive substance will make more curiosity of some to try it. In my view, addictive substances don't have only drawbacks but they can be beneficial; in
this
case, some drug addicts can help in medical ways.
For instance
, cannabis, morphine surface or methadone inappropriate average.
Also
, some individuals need alcohol to help them sleep easily and
also
be an entertainment drink that much help people who have to face terrible all day.
Apart from
this
, it can make the greatest income for countries;
such
as Asahi a famous alcoholic in Japan and Johney Walker popular whiskey from Scotland
that is
worldwide today. It can develop another essential section of the land;
in particular
: education, transportation and wealth countries. In fact, the income of a country from import tax from any country that orders the alcohol.
To sum up
, as humans know addictive substance is a disadvantage for health and others in society alternatively can be an advantage too.
Therefore
, it is the duty of the government to establish comprehensive laws to control citizens and addictive substances, with the ages of persons, times and places for sale to minimize errors.
Submitted by np.napatping on

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task response
Ensure that the essay specifically addresses all aspects of the prompt. In your essay, while you presented a good structure, it lacked full engagement with the pros and cons or alternatives to banning addictive substances.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs, making sure that each point naturally leads to the next. It will help if you link ideas more explicitly with cohesive devices.
task response
Provide a more in-depth explanation with examples that directly support your main ideas. This will strengthen the arguments presented.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which set the stage and wrap up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Your ideas are quite comprehensive and address the question with a balanced approach.
task achievement
You consider some positive aspects of addictive substances that aren't typically highlighted, like their economic contribution and medical use.
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