Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #animals #zoos

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this

Linking Words

modern era,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society is divided into two groups as the distinct mindset of different people.

Therefore

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, it has become a debatable issue whether

animals

Use synonyms

should be kept in cages in

zoos

Use synonyms

for educational and entertainment purposes or it is totally unethical to keep them in

zoos

Use synonyms

. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate

Change preposition

on my

show examples

point of view by analyzing both sides of the

arguments

Fix the agreement mistake

argument

show examples

. On the one hand, it is argued by some that

animals

Use synonyms

must be confined in

zoos

Use synonyms

and they are giving many logical reasons for the same argument.

Firstly

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, environmental perspective, many humans think that

zoos

Use synonyms

play a crucial role in wildlife conservation; in fact, for those

animals

Use synonyms

which are endangered and near to extinction. In

this

Linking Words

way, they will be protected from predators, cultural and atmospheric changes and would not need to worry about the food. These confined

animals

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in cages are very handy for researchers and animal scientists to study animal behaviour.

Secondly

Linking Words

zoos

Use synonyms

employ trainers and other members for the protection and caring of these

animals

Use synonyms

, so it will create new jobs for

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

area;

moreover

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

the visit of families and children of all ages in

zoos

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create a healthy income which may be used for conservation projects.

Finally

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zoos

Use synonyms

provide easy access for everyone to entertain.

For instance

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, tourists from other countries of the world often visit

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the

zoos

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of India for seeing ‘White Tigers’. At the same time, entertainment is

also

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given to visitors by showing different actions of wild

animals

Use synonyms

However

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on the other hand

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, many people think that it is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wrong behaviour to

kept

Wrong verb form

keep

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

zoos

Use synonyms

. According to them, it is of no use to keep these creatures in cages as it will impact

Change preposition

apply

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their instinct of hunting or preying;

however

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, captivating in small places will

also

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reduce their ability to think cleverly and in an efficient manner.

Moreover

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, it will have a psychological effect on their brains and cause health issues.

Also

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, morally, it is not a good practice to keep these species in

zoos

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, as it is against their freedom and zoo owners will exploit them for money. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for and against

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

keeping

Wrong verb form

kept

show examples

zoos

Use synonyms

However

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, I personally believe that everyone in

this

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world has a right to live as per their choices and we are no one to put our choices on others; even on small creatures, like insects or

animals

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;

therefore

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, I think that

animals

Use synonyms

should not be confined in any way in these

zoos

Use synonyms

and will leave them

freely

Replace the word

free

show examples

to make their living in

this

Linking Words

ecosystem and in their natural habitats.

Submitted by emmelladevi1 on Fri Jan 07 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

440 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

captivity
natural habitat
artificial enclosures
genetic diversity
animal welfare
conservation efforts
endangered species
biodiversity
education platform
breeding programs
reintroduction
psychological suffering

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