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Writing Samples
Band 6

People are not exercising regularly, even though they know it is beneficial for their health. Why is this a problem? What can be done to tackle it?

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Although
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people
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 understand the
health
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 benefits of regular
exercise
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, many still struggle to incorporate it into their daily routines.
This
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 lack of physical activity can lead to serious consequences,
such
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 as weakened bodily functions and decreased mental well-being. To address
this
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, individuals could start with simple exercises and consider working out with a partner.
This
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 essay will discuss the impacts of inadequate
exercise
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 and propose effective solutions. One significant impact of a sedentary lifestyle is the weakening of physical
health
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.
For instance
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,
people
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 who spend long hours sitting at a computer without physical activity may experience decreased heart function and even cognitive issues over time.
Furthermore
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, the lack of
exercise
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 negatively affects mental well-being, as it can lead to higher stress levels and contribute to conditions
such
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 as burnout and poor mood. These effects highlight the importance of maintaining an active lifestyle. To tackle these challenges,
people
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 can start with easy exercises like walking or jogging for 30 minutes a day. These low-intensity activities can still improve heart
health
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 and are manageable for those with busy schedules.
In addition
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, finding a workout partner can increase motivation and make the experience more enjoyable. Many communities offer accessible gyms or fitness classes, which provide a supportive environment for
people
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to begin
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 exercising regularly. In conclusion, failing to
exercise
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 regularly can weaken both physical and mental
health
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. By starting with simple exercises and working with a partner, individuals can overcome obstacles and gradually incorporate more physical activity into their lives.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher level in task achievement, include more specific examples or evidence to robustly support your points. You might want to cite research studies or real-life examples where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while your logical structure is strong, make sure to use consistent paragraph links and transitional phrases between ideas for an even smoother flow.
introduction conclusion
The essay presents a clear structure with a focused introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the stage for the discussion and wrapping it up neatly.
logical structure
Logical structure is well-maintained throughout the essay. Each paragraph serves a clear purpose in supporting your main thesis.
supported main points
The main points are generally supported, aiming to convince the reader with relevant arguments.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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