It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree of disagree

Arguably, it is commented whether
ruling
Correct article usage
the ruling
show examples
power should use public funds sensitizing and mobilizing citizens
avert
Fix the infinitive
to avert
show examples
sickness or it should
allocated
Change the verb form
allocate
be allocated
show examples
the same
money
to
individuals'cure
Correct your spelling
individuals cure
. Personally, I strongly agree with the view since it is worthy
preventing
Change preposition
of preventing
show examples
rather than treating.
Although
cure
Add an article
a cure
show examples
is less spending than prevention.
This
essay will shed light on both sides of the view and provide evidence to prove the arguments. On the one hand, Prevention glosses over severe
ilnesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
.
In other words
, spending financial resources warning individuals has shown to be the efficient development to prevent chronic diseases
such
as
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
, malaria and
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
.
For instance
, if the world cabinet did not heavily disseminate protective measures to hinder the
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
pandemic many people could have
been died
Change to the active voice
died
show examples
.
As a result
, more public
money
could have been wasted
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
crowd treatment.
Furthermore
, it is the overriding reason for a shrunk number of
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
pandemic deceased throughout the earth.
On the other hand
,
patients
Replace the word
patient
show examples
cure is less national
money
-consuming than averting. Because of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
availability of medical drugs across the earth healing folk into hospitals use
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
government resources.
For example
, solely in the
firts
Correct your spelling
first
year of the actual
pandemic
Add a comma
,pandemic
show examples
each Africa nation allocated a billion to purchase masks, soaps, and alcohol.
However
, solely a quarter of
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
amount of
money
was enough to care
those
Change preposition
for those
show examples
hospitalized.
Hence
, the spared
money
should
be allocate
Change the verb form
be allocated
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
other
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
priorities like education, roads and security. In conclusion, notwithstanding some drawbacks result in more
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
to promote
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle. It avoids severe illness and medicinal internation , and especially it reduces
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
death toll.
Therefore
I still strongly agree with the view. I recommend local authorities allot more crowd taxes in mobilization.
Submitted by vascomunguarepenete on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • public health campaigns
  • lifestyle-related illnesses
  • quality of life
  • health-conscious society
  • allocate funds
  • balanced healthcare system
  • comprehensive healthcare strategy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: