IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
It may seem that we have various
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to improve the brain
such
 as imagination, linguistics,
analytic
Replace the word
analytics
show examples
 and so on.
However
, some people think that knowledge from reading is better than watching
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
television
. In
this
 essay, I absolutely disagree with
this
 statement and I will give a sampler from my experience. Owning the fact that technology
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the main role
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
television
 is one of the choices which the majority of people select to learn.
Firstly
, watching from the channel can
understand
Wrong verb form
be understood
show examples
 easier than text because of the motion picture or sound.
For example
, we can use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
samples of voice and
image
Fix the agreement mistake
images
show examples
 from broadcast series to improve
the
Change the word
our
show examples
skill
performantly
Correct your spelling
performance
show examples
.
In contrast
, studying from a book
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 boring and quitting
this
 activity in a short time. To illustrate, when they look
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the book which has entire of the
Correct word choice
entire word
show examples
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
, it is hard for intending
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. On the one hand, the modern method is suitable for thinking fantasy and learning new language
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
due to
 the time. It is true that
learner
Correct article usage
a learner
show examples
 who obtains knowledge from a screen can accomplish faster than reading from papers.
According to
digital
Add an article
the digital
a digital
show examples
 lesson, it provides distinct content which
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
show examples
 only on usable data.
For instance
, the broadcast lessons that intermission via
television
 present with detail and do not show the intro so much.
Furthermore
, someone who is weak in reading
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 must waste
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time more than other people.
Therefore
,
television
 is helpful for
this
 group because they can listen and look at the picture
instead
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
due to
 the new technology and the specific feature that affects
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thought processes, citizens have a more obvious advantage over the book and can improve language skills and imagination.
Submitted by northpole_43420 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: