IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

This
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 essay argues that some
people
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 believe that
technology
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 has changed how
people
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 interact on their daily basis.
While
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 other groups of
people
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 think that
technology
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 has improved the way they communicate with others. I am going to examine
this
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 question from both directions. On one hand, there is a clear argument that
technology
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 affects
people
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's relationships in a negative prospective. One reason is that
people
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 start to spend a lot of time on
technology
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 without taking a real connection with their friends and families into account.
This
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 means that individuals who consume huge amounts of time on virtual platforms will experience low emotional intelligence in real-life settings if they keep avoiding social events and gatherings, and that will impact their actual relationships in the long term.
On the other hand
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, despite these negative effects, digital communication has brought important benefits as well.
Firstly
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, it enhances
people
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's interaction by offering speed and high-quality access, which will help you stay in touch at any time zone with zero cost.
Secondly
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, it helps you sometimes to avoid disappointing situations in real life,
such
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 as handling rejection from a university or a job without having to face them in person
by
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from
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 someone. In conclusion, it seems to me that everything has pros and cons in life, especially in
technology
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, so
people
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 need to use them with balance and a mindful way.
Moreover
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, we live in a revolutionary world that mostly requires exposure to
technology
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 in our lives, both in personal and professional environments.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain and develop your ideas with specific examples.
coherence
Try to improve your flow by using clear connectors between sentences.
task achievement
Provide more detail in your examples to give a fuller picture.
strength
The introduction clearly states the topic and signals the argument.
strength
You provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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